Goals

Who can remember some of the goals that they set out for themselves growing up? I know that while I was in college, we were asked where we could see ourselves doing five and ten years down the road. I don't think i quite lived up to those. I have set goals for myself like by now, I was supposed to have my masters degree in social work or counseling, I haven't even started. I was hoping to have started my own non - profit program for inner city youth, I've worked at a couple and currently work at one now, so I guess this could be a start. These are just some of my career goals.
I've also set up goals that everyone sets, you know like I guess, "hobby goals". For example one of mine was to go to a live sporting event of the big five profesional sports, I count the PGA as one because I've always been a huge fan, by the time I'm 30. I've reached last year. I've been to several MLB games but no playoff games, I guess that's what I get for living in the DFW area. I've been to one NFL game, a Dallas Cowboy vs. Washington Redskin Thanksgiving game about 15 years ago. My new goal is to go to Mile High Stadium to watch my beloved Denver Broncos. I've went to go to the Dallas Mavericks a few years back only to watch them lose on a last second shot by Barran Davis of the GS Warriors. I've been to an NHL playoff game of the Dallas Stars and watched them beat out the Mighy Ducks to advance to the 2nd round of the playoffs. I've been to the Memorial Tournament at the classic Muirfield Village back in 2005. It was amazing being on the course that Jack Nicklaus created and also to watch the PGA's biggest names up close, I got within five feet of Tiger Woods. And I guess I can add one more even thought I've never been a big fan of it, I've just recently been to a Nascar event at the Texas Motor Speedway and watched Kyle Busch take the checkered flag. I used to work with Jimmie Johnsons's aunt, his dads older sister, down in east texas and she kept me interested in it. I've also been to several college football games, my favorite being when I was around 8 or 9, we got to go see my favorite team at the time, the Colorado Buffalos, play in Waco against the Baylor Bears. Of course Colorado won, but what was so cool and something that I would never forget, was while we watching the game, there was the two guys decked out in Colorado gear and stuff and then my older brother looked at his hand and he was wearing this huge golden ring and I guess they saw us noticing because they called us over and let us hold on to a National Championship ring, they were scouts for the Buffs and were down in Texas recruiting the weekend before at some nearby high schools and were able to make the game in Waco. I also got to see Lou Holtz coach his last game at Arkansas when he was coaching the South Carolina team, it was my birthday that night and the Razorbacks won pretty good that night.
I say this all in stat that I may have put more of an emphasis on this stuff that will one day not exist. I think that a lot of us put things first that won't matter in the end. I remember back in my Junior High days that the No Fear t-shirts were popular and there was this one that read" He who dies with the most toys - still dies." I think for my next thirty years or thirty one, I'm going to get my masters, start a non-profit, and put more effort into who I am and getting to know my Father better.

Prayer in School

I grew up going to a small town school in southwest Arkansas where we had the freedom of being able to pray. We prayed at almost all the sporting events and as a team we prayed before and after the games. We had "see you at the pole" meetings and had a good FCA club despite the size of the school. I loved the way I was raised and taught to believe. But it just seems that today, saying a prayer in school or at a public school function is just like selling illegal drugs. They have to hide it and they can't tell anyone what they were doing or where they got it from. Case in point, a couple weeks ago in a small Florida town, two school officials are facing jail time for saying a prayer at a school related function and violating the school districts from promoting religion. It is a sad, sad, world we live in where we have lost the right to share our beliefs and from being able to pray over those in need. We always say that we are grateful to live in a country where we have the freedom to express our religious views, but do we really? I grew up knowing that I was safe in my public school for saying prayers and singing worship music. But I don't think that my future kids will ever get the privilege of knowing and feeling that. No wonder the home schooling rates have gone up every year, it seems like one of the only places where they are safe, besides church, to pray and worship Jesus. I don't know about you, but I commend these two school officials to sticking to their beliefs and for becoming, in my opinion, modern day martyrs. I admire the courage and the strength that they had, knowing that they would get in trouble, but there are some things that need to be more important to us. I know that they could have kept quiet and kept their prayers to themselves, but is that what we were called to do? To keep Jesus all to ourselves. If we don't want our kids going to jail, it seems that they do.

Buffalo E-Mail

My parents grew up in Colorado and my dad was a good Colorado Buffaloes and still is a Denver Broncos fan. When we lived near Waco, we got tickets to the Baylor - Colorado game one time and watched Kordell Stewert when he was the QB for the Buffs back then. The cool thing is that we were sitting next to a couple of guys that worked for the team and traveled with them, and we got to see a National Championship ring from back when they were the Co - Champs along with Georgia Tech, back in 1989 - 1990. It was probably the coolest thing that I have ever seen at that point. Through the years I grew to become a pretty big Buffs fan even through college. They had some good years, like when Rashaan Salaam won the Heisman in '94, and then some really bad ones like the current Dan Hawkins era. And part of the reasoning behind their current downfall is due to an incident that happened back in 2004 and kinda opened everybody's eyes to what really goes on on recruiting trips. It also took me away from the Buffs.

In 2004, word started getting out that they were using drugs, alcohol, and sex to lure recruits to the school. When I first this during my senior year in college, I lost it, I was down and denying any wrong doing for my beloved Buffaloes. But as the days went on, more and more information started coming out. So I did what any loyal fan would do in a moment like this, I wrote Coach Gary Barnett, then the Head coach of the football team, an e-mail. And here it is. No joke this is for real.

Dear Coach Barnett,

this is Brad Austin,

I'm a senior at Harding University in Arkansas, and I'm also a huge a CU fan, I've always been one. i was raised watching them play. even through the rough years like this past one, i still cheered for them. and i know that you have probably gotten a lot of negative e-mails here lately and probably lost a lot of potential players and maybe even a lot of respect from other coaches. but not from me. ever since i heard about the allegations that was brought against you and your team, I've been praying for you and your staff to make the right choices. it's not because I'm a big fan, but because I'm a christian before I'm a fan, and i want you to know that God forgives you and the other players for the mistakes that they've made. everybody sins, nobody is perfect. i know that you will probably be going through some rough times now or in the future, but God loves you and he always will love you and His Grace is amazing. ans He is always with you throught your good times and bad. I'm not really expecting you to respond to this e-mail, in fact, i don't even know if you will read it. but just in case i want to share with you one of my favorite scriptures from the book of Colossians. it's Colossians 3:23 " Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord and not for men." i know being a head coach for a major college can go to get stressful and that you may sometimes lose focus on really matters in life, it's not the national championship, although that would be nice, or winning the big twelve, it's about loving our Master and our Creator.

In Him,Brad Austin

I wrote this e-mail without the expectation of getting a response, but you can only imagine how big my eyes and how fast my heart was beating when I checked my e-mail a few days later and saw this. Once again this is for real.

Brad,

Thanks for your note. We have been falsely accused......however, when you build your house the right way...on the rocks and with love, compassion and discipline it can withstand any storm...fire or otherwise. YOung people make mistakes....we do not live in a one strike and you are out world....neither spiritually or mortally...

Thanks again Gary Barnett

I couldn't wait to tell my friends what had happened, but most of them had no idea who Coach Barnett was. I know that it turned out that they weren't falsely accused, it turns out that Coach Barnett knew of several drinking parties where the recruits were going to and that he somehow knew of the strippers that were hired for some of those parties. I lost some respect for him and for the team after more and more stuff kept coming out. I did pray for the team and their problems. It was just one of those moments where I felt that God wasn't listening to me and made me wonder if He really ever does. I know it may not seem like a downhearted storey to you. But it infected me in a way that even I couldn't have predicted. It also led to my faltering prayer life for the last months of my school year. I didn't mean for it too, but it just happened. The Buffs were a big part of my life and I let something small effect me the way that it wasn't meant to.

Natural Pasttime - No More

Baseball has been a part of my life for many years. I started playing when I was 5, like everybody else did, in T-ball. I was good, I was the star pitcher on my t-ball team. I then went on to play every summer till I graduated high school. I played several positions, from first base, all over the outfield, and finally ended up at third base for the last three years of high school. I loved to watch a game on t.v. and when we had the chance, to go watch a game live. I got to see Nolan Ryan pitch when he was with the Rangers and I remember it pretty well, they were playing the A's and they hit four home runs off of him and he still got the win. I got into the trading cards and I actually bought them for the cards and not the really hard piece of gum that came with them. I think I still have a Topps Barry Bonds rookie card somewhere. I looked up to the Major Leaguers and I loved watching the World Series every October. I remember watching Kirk Gibson hitting that home run on two bad legs and also the famous earthquake that happened during the Oakland series. Like others, instead of pretending to be superheros in my backyard, I pretended to be Mark McGwire, Nolan Ryan, Ricky Henderson, Ryne Sandberg, and of course Cal Ripkin Jr. You know real live superheros. I even started growing out my goatee my sophomore year of high school so I would look like Mark McGwire, I just wasn't as built and muscled up as he was, he was measured at having 14 inch forearms one time, forearms.
Ad then I realized why he was so muscled up. HGH, he denied ever having to do with it, but I don't think I can trust him anymore. Or anybody else in the Majors right now. So far we have names like Jose Canseco, Jason Giambi , Ken Camanitti, Andy Petitte, and A-Rod, who have admitted to taking steroids. There are several others who have been named but they are still denying it like Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and Pudge Rodriguez. These are players that I adored and looked up to. But it just seems like everyday there seems to be another name added to that list and it always seem to be another big name. But what is worst is that it seems like the fans don't care, either that or they are giving up and just saying whats the point in doing anything. To me, every name that is added is taking a little more piece away from me from the game I grew up loving. I'm sure the greats who built this game and played their hearts out and showed their passion for the game everyday, wouldn't be to thrilled today. I don't know if there is anybody in the League right now that I can trust. Maybe Albert Pujos, and that is a strong maybe. But it just seemed that the players today are intentioning destroying our once natural past time a year or even a name at a time. I' m still going to go see the games, because it is still a part of me and will remain a part of me probably for my whole life. But I'm still going to remember what it was like to watch the game without worrying about who was on what and just watching the players play like little leaguers who never grew to old for the game. I miss those days, for I believe those days are long gone in the Majors.

High School Ruenion

I know I have been putting off writing a new post for a while but I finally found some time to do so. So here is what has been on my mind the last couple of weeks. Three weekends ago I went back up to my 1o year high school reunion and it was everything that you would expect from a small town Arkansas high school and I loved it. I hadn't kept in touch with too many of the 53 people I graduated with, alright maybe I just kept in touch with two of them, at the most. It's just that i felt that I moved on from then and that I didn't think anybody really was interested in what I was doing. It was held at one of the nearby Country Clubs, and I got there early at 10:00 in the morning and it felt awkward at first because I was pretty much the only one there that hadn't been keeping in touch with them. Nobody knew I lived in Ft. Worth or even graduated college, I think that surprised some people. As the day went on I got to know them again and it was as if I never left. It even included the awkward high school sweethearts couple that broke up and then showed up with their new significant others. I really thought at one point that I was going to see a cage match for free, but we were adults about it and just talked about the other ones behind their backs. I won an award for the Most Eligible Bachelor, now I am just waiting to get a call to go on the Bachelor reality show, getting the award has to have some credibility. As the day ended I vowed to myself to stay involved and to even go back two or three times a year instead of waiting another ten years. I really have no reason for not doing so in the first place, I wasn't unpopular in high school. It was too small of a school to have cliques so everybody knew everybody. We had a guy there that wore some kind of camouflage, either hunting or military, everyday it seemed like. We took the first weekend of deer hunting season off as a holiday because more then half the school wasn't going to be anyways. When I was there, we still used to get swatted as punishment, I got swatted 10 times my freshman year, one of them by the baseball coach, now that hurt. It was just fun sitting back and reminiscing about old times. I was probably one of the only ones that didn't have a kid and it was great seeing my classmates as parents and getting to meet their families. That is probably one of my biggest regrets in that when I left Horatio, I really left Horatio.

Bad Brad the Nomad

What is a nomad, well wikipedia defined it as people who move from one place to another without permanently settling down. Up till about a year ago, that is what I did. From April of 2005 to March of 2008. And let me tell you some of my so-called adventures, they are really quite lame, but they were fun. I lived in North Carolina for about three or four months in the spring and summer of 2005, to work at a wilderness program for troubled teenagers. I loved it at first. I was making good money and getting trained in some cool stuff. And I was also working long shifts. I was the head of a group of 10 guys who have had a history of being in gangs, drugs, violence, and even burglary. I had help at first, maybe for like the first two weeks and then they turned the reigns over to me and I'll tell you what, teenagers smell fear like bears. It really made want to travel on my days off, which were short and rare. And I did, I traveled the beaches, the steakhouses and even went to the Duke and UNC campuses and NC State as well. I left to go back to Texas to work at a much more rural wilderness program in the Davey Crockett National Forest of east Texas. I had a job where the average stay at the job, wilderness field guide, was 3 months. I stayed there for 30 months. For two and a half years, I led groups of very well to do kids, into the wilderness and hiking at least two maybe three miles a day with at least 30 or 50 lbs of equipment on your back. The one thing I liked about this job, is that I worked eight days on and got eight days off. There was this one time where I worked 21 days without a break and I almost went crazy when that shift was over. But anyways, I traveled the great state of Texas and occasionally up to Oklahoma. I didn't pay a rent bill for over three years when I had these jobs. It was awesome. I had friends in Ft. Worth and Austin. I had family in College Station, west Texas, and Oklahoma.

But throughout all this, I found out who I was what I stood for. I had a lot of free time on my hands and sometimes I used it wisely like when I was out on the golf course or in a small prayer group with loved ones. I rediscovered my desire for nature and learning lots about the surrounding areas. I learned how to make fire with a string and sticks, it was awesome. I started reading a lot and it is something that still do. I think in 2007, I tried to remember how many books I read and I think it totaled somewhere near 40 or 50, no joke. I loved just waking up early some mornings and watching the sunrise by a fire and thinking how grateful I was for the new day. I have lost that after being in the city for a while now and I need to get that back in my life. I take stuff for granted these days and I worry about a lot of pity stuff like when will I be able to go to the gym or what am I going to get to eat and at what fast food place. Out on the road and in the wilderness, I was free and I was comfortable with just being one with nature. I forgot all the media and the happenings. I didn't watch the Super Bowl from 2005 - 2008, because of work and I didn't care. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6 to not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. I know it is a lot easier said then done. But it works, at least it did for me when I was Bad Brad the Nomad, and I don't think I have ever really been more at peace then I was during those Wilderness years, except North Carolina, I fell apart and had to rebuild myself up, it was a long hard process but I am stronger for having gone through it. I want to quite worrying about the national championships, I will still cheer my teams on, but when they lose the big one or when I'm watching them on T.V. I won't get upset and let it ruin my day if things don't happen the way I want it to. I am going to quite making sports my world. Here recently I quite softball, and I love softball, to make time for some prayer time with friends on Thursday nights and it was a lot easier to give it up then I thought it would be. Softball and sports won't always be there for me but my Lord and Savior will be.

Tattoos

When I was a sophomore in college I did one of the stupidest things, I think, that I have ever done. I let a girl talk me into getting my ear pierced. But not the normal place where guys usually get their ear pierced, I got mine on the upper part of the ear. It didn't hurt at all. I thought I looked cool and everything, but I went to a Christian college where they have strict rules on guys having pierced ears, so hiding it was going to be a bit of a project. Like most of my projects, it lasted for about two days. Some how my parents found out, I think I might have told them, and my mom started crying, no joke, threatening that I wasn't going to be allowed in their house with my ear pierced. We were going back and forth for about two hours over the phone, I was saying that stuff like " God doesn't look at the outside of the man but what is on the inside." What a dilemma, home cooked meals and laundry done for you or looking cool and stylish. I went with the home cooked meals. But I got them back, sort of. I was going to meet them halfway that weekend at Harding's road game in Russelville, Arkansas. So I got together earlier that week with my roommate at the time and I bleached my hair, or attempted to bleach my hair. I have dark and thick red hair and I bought that stuff from Wal - Mart that is supposed to only be used on light colored hair. It looked okay for about a day and a half and then it turned into this hideous yellow orange color, I really don't know how to describe it it was really bad. So I went to the game and I also got a magnetic clip on ear ring just to do a joke on my parents. I surprised them alright, especially when I went to hug them and my dad took off my hat and looked at my hair, he was speechless and I don't mean in a good way. I later went on to shave my head and start over, but that is another story for another time.

Today I am in conflict of rather or not I should get a tattoo. I have nothing against tattoos or against the people that have them. What I am in conflict with is why is it just a huge deal when it involves Christianity? I grew up in a small town Arkansas sheltered away from a lot of the big city stuff. So I was raised on my parents thoughts on why things are the way they are. On tattoos I felt like I was Adam Sandler in the Waterboy when he asked his mom questions and her reply was always " because it is the Devil." But she wasn't too far wrong with how many Christians think and act on topics such as this. Leviticus 19:28 stats" Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourself. I am the Lord." On doing research for this topic, this is the scripture that everyone put out there on why we shouldn't get tattoos as Christians. But I started reading a little bit more in Leviticus and came upon these things as well, " Do not eat meat with the blood still in it," and " Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." If this is so, then how come hair salons are being looked down upon as much as tattoo parlors. And how come it doesn't mention anywhere in the New Testament about the sinful nature of getting tattoos. In 1st Corinthians 6: 19 -20 it stats that " our bodies are a temple for the Holy Spirit, it is not your own." and " therefore honor God with your body." i know for me personally, in the past, I felt uncomfortable talking about my faith and my beliefs with someone that had tattoos all up and down their arms, and I don't know why. Some of the greatest people I have come to know have a lot of tattoos, and I am not going to treat them any different then anybody else. I admit, I stare at them. And even so, they are still children of God, like it is stated in 1st Samuel 16: 7 when Samuel anoints David as the next king, " the Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." That was the argument I used about my earring, but I couldn't be laid out there any better then that. I am not saying that I personally am going to get a tattoo, it has crossed my mind though. I am still just a little afraid of the needles. But if I do I am not going to get something like my favorite sports team or Alma mater. But rather something that I know wouldn't defile who I am as a person or a child of God, no matter what is on the outside, my heart still belongs to God.